Can I return to the Catholic church?

By Eli Pacheco

If you have stopped attending Mass or stepped away from your Catholic faith for any reason, you might hear a voice in your heart imploring you to come back – even if it’s just a whisper. 

The good news is that it is not as difficult as you might think to return, no matter how long you have been away. Below, five Franciscan friars give advice for people who want to rebuild their relationship with God and strengthen their faith. 

What should I do before I return to the Catholic Church?  

People lean on their faith, especially in uncertain times. Do not let time away from the Church deter you from returning. God longs for your presence and welcomes his children with open arms. 

Here is some advice for coming back to the Catholic Church.

1. Don’t worry 

“It’s been so long. Will I still go to heaven? What does God think of my absence?” 

Many fears can invade your mind as you consider returning to the Church. Br. Hugh Macsherry, OFM, parochial vicar at Immaculate Conception Parish in Durham, North Carolina, remembers his worries when he was deciding whether to become a friar. 

“In some ways it felt like a final step, but it was just one step,” Br. Hugh said. “I told myself that I would try it and see. It did not feel like full commitment and that made it a little easier not to feel anxious.” 

That mindset influences his approach to helping people who want to return to the Church. 

"I cannot imagine the worry someone might feel in thinking about returning to the Church,” he said. “I just want to honor what they are feeling and not get between them and God. 

“Often, they have a reason for taking the paths that they have followed. God understands and just wants them to know how much he loves them. I don't want to say anything that will keep them from hearing God say, ‘I love you.  I am so glad that you're here.’” 

Try this 

If you aren’t sure whether you want to fully commit to returning to the Church, consider returning to Mass as the first step. You are a visitor who is welcome to worship alongside others. Remember that there is a merciful God who has walked beside you, regardless of where you have been. Come as you are. God is happy to welcome you back.

(Photo courtesy of Br. Octavio Duran)

Many people worry that they are unworthy to attend Mass because they have been away for so long. Br. Lalo Jara, OFM, pastor of Mission San Luis Rey Parish in Oceanside, California, has a message for them: God is ready to walk with you again. 

“God wants to walk with you on your journey,” said Br. Lalo. “You are returning to his arms, so don’t forget that even when you go away, making mistakes or decisions, God is always with you. He wants to be part of your life.” 

People who are returning to Mass are encouraged to go to confession before receiving the Eucharist. The sacrament of reconciliation is a beautiful way for you to experience God’s love and mercy.  

Through confession, we obtain forgiveness for our sins and are reconciled with God. 

Br. Lalo and the friar-priests who hear confession consider themselves an extension of God’s love and are honored to help people begin again. 

For people who are returning to the Church, confession is “a huge journey, and it takes strength to be there,” Br. Lalo said.  

“In an encounter with God, a priest must be the bridge, an instrument of peace, reconciliation and love. People are there in front of us and want to walk with God.” 

Try this 

For some, going to confession with a familiar priest feels like the best path forward. For others, speaking with someone new feels safer. Pray for guidance. If you know and trust a particular priest, that could be a great place to start.    

You might notice someone else going through the same thing you are. No two faith journeys are the same, and some people lose their connection to their faith – and find it again through community. 

Br. Jimmy Beh, OFM, currently in the Franciscan novitiate at Old Mission Santa Barbara, was inconsistent in attending Mass in his early 20s. One of his roommates, Dan, gifted him a book called “An Ignatian Book of Days,” by Jim Manney. Br. Jimmy read it daily. 

“I found myself re-engaging in old spiritual questions I had like 'Where is God in my life and is he saying anything to me?’” he said. “It also naturally led to Dan and I growing closer as friends through engaging in deeper conversations about faith and life.” 

As you renew your relationship with God, you could deepen other relationships in your life, too. 

“God comes to us in the people, places and events of our lives!” Br. Jimmy said. “By deepening our relationships with one another, we start to learn or remember how to deepen our relationship with God – even if it feels awkward at first.” 

Try this 

Share your faith journey with a trusted friend and listen to their experience. Talk about your questions, doubts and fears. Ask them to accompany you, pray and attend Mass with you. 

(Photo courtesy of Br. Octavio Duran)

If you stopped attending Mass for a reason tied to a specific parish, maybe it’s time for a change of scenery. 

Br. Jeff Scheeler, OFM, pastor of Church of the Transfiguration in Southfield, Michigan, reminds us that St. Francis encouraged his brothers and sisters to “begin again,” citing a popular St. Francis quote: “Let us begin again, for up to now we have done nothing.”  

“People frequently ask ‘Where should I go?  Back to the parish I used to attend?’” Br. Jeff said, citing common concerns. “’What will people say? How will they treat me?’  I hope you will be welcomed with open arms. That is a possibility.  But sometimes it is also good to make a fresh start and join a new parish, a new community.” 

“Beginning again, moving on to the next thing, starting over, is a big part of most people’s lives,” Br. Jeff continued. “Sometimes those who have been away from the faith community for a while feel the gracious nudge from God to return.” 

Try this 

Consider the challenge of finding a new parish as an opportunity in disguise, Br. Jeff suggests.  

“New beginnings can be exciting.  If the Lord is nudging you to come home, I hope you respond. Go back to your former parish or go to a new one as you discern best, either way, we welcome you!”

(Photo courtesy of Br. Octavio Duran)

Prayer can help us find guidance and peace. It is a crucial element of our relationship with God, says Br. Jeff Haller, OFM, who serves as a Franciscan missionary in Türkiye. 

He implores people to strengthen their prayer life by connecting with and participating in parish life. 

“‘No man is an island’, and that holds true in Christianity,” he said.  “There is a parallel between the story of the Prodigal Son and the unconditional welcome by his father, and the Church’s desire to be receptive to anyone who has departed or strayed for some time.” 

Prayer is a natural path both for reestablishing a connection with God and community and is something to be nurtured. 

“With the ‘mysterious ways in which the Lord is always at work,’ we never know how or by what means prayer might be answered, and thus a person might be prompted by the Spirit to consider the road back to the Church,” Br. Jeff said.  

Try this 

Br. Jeff recommends a book titled “Prayer: Our Deepest Longing,” by Fr. Ronald Rolheiser, OMI, one of his favorite Catholic authors. He’s read it twice.  

“It can help not only for people struggling to return to the Church, if that is the major challenge at hand, but also for active Church members who merely seek to deepen their appreciation of the essential and indispensable role of prayer in Christian life,” he said.

Frequently asked questions 

Franciscan churches are Catholic churches cared for by a Franciscan religious community. They share values such as benevolence, charity and selflessness. Franciscans believe in living a simple life, accepting all people and serving the poor and marginalized. 

St. Francis of Assisi founded the Franciscan Order of Friars Minor, and his influence pervades Franciscan ministries everywhere.

Is there a Franciscan church near me?

Franciscan churches are located all over America. Not every state has one, but you can see a breakdown, state-by-state, at the end of this post. Visit one near you soon.